


Help Me Help You

by Trans_N_Pans



Series: Heartstrings [4]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Abuse, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Alex just wants to help john, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, Child Abuse, Drug Abuse, Drug Use, Fluff and Angst, Henry Laurens' A+ Parenting, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M, Self-Harm, Sexual Abuse, Soulmates, and John doesn't think he needs help, but he really needs help, heartstrings au, hes an asshole
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-17
Updated: 2020-03-06
Packaged: 2021-02-28 04:14:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,251
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22777759
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Trans_N_Pans/pseuds/Trans_N_Pans
Summary: After the explosive end to lunch with Thomas, Alex decides he should get out of the house for once. He texts John, but only receives a cryptic text in replyFrom John:dont text me backjust come to my placeSomething about it feels familiar and wrong...
Relationships: Alexander Hamilton/John Laurens
Series: Heartstrings [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/852282
Comments: 4
Kudos: 94





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello!!!! I'm back!!! 
> 
> I fell out of the Hamilton fandom for reasons I really don't wanna get into, but I'm back now and I want to see this story to its end, no matter how long it takes! Alex, John, and Thomas gotta get their happy ending
> 
> but, right now, its not gonna be happy :)
> 
> Find info about the Au on my Tumblr! transnpans.tumblr.com ^^

Weeks had passed since the lunch with Thomas. He hadn’t said more to Peggy than ‘He’s still an asshole’ before retreating to his room. Alex didn’t know why he thought anything else would happen between them. Thomas Jefferson had his head too far up his own ass to care about anyone else. Even now, as Alex tapped away furiously at his laptop, he could still feel the red hot anger bubbling under his skin.

“Al? Boo?” The curious voice of Peggy pulled him from his angry writing. He did feel a little sympathy for his poor professor. His eyes glanced at the page count that now read 20, figuring he should wrap it up in the next five or so. Its not like it was due any time soon. With classes out until August, he didn’t owe it for a few more weeks. Alex was probably the only person that didn’t care about an assignment over break. Turning, he looked to his bedroom door, which was open part way.

“Yeah?” Alex asked, crossing one leg over the other. “Something wrong, Peg?” he knew they were probably just checking up on him, which he couldn’t blame them for. They smiled some, fingers tapping at the door a bit.

“Just making sure you’re still alive in here. Haven’t seen much of you lately...” They said, trailing off. Alex felt bad almost immediately. He pushed away from his desk.

“I’m fine, Pegs, I promise. I was..actually about to go out and get lunch with John” he lied, grabbing his phone. He wasn’t hungry at all, but knew he should eat soon. Alex could probably text John on the way to McDonald’s or something cheap like that. He hadn’t heard much from John either, now that he thought about it.

“That’s good! You should bring him over sometime! I wanna meet your little boyfriend” Peggy grinned, glad to see that Alex was actually leaving the apartment for once other than to go to work on campus. The man’s face started to turn and he huffed, waving them off.

“He’s not my boyfriend. He’s 17, Peg. We’re just friends..” Alex insisted as he grabbed his jacket. His binder was making his chest a little sore, but he figured he’d be fine for another hour or two. Peggy snickered and left back to the living room.

“Whatever you say, Alex!” They called back. Alexander chuckled and pulled on his jacket. He got his phone and pulled up John’s number to text him. It was hard to imagine that they had only known each other 5 months...All because they both decided to go to that Starbucks that day in February. Alex chuckled and shot him a quick text.

**To John**

**Sent at 12:14 PM**

****Hey John, wanna get some McD’s?

He made sure it sent before he pulled on his shoes, tying them and heading to the living room. Peggy was on the couch with their cats, who he petted quickly. He told them bye before hurrying out the door. Just as Alex was locking the door, he felt his phone buzz in his pocket. Pulling his key from the door, he pocketed it and checked his phone.

**From John**

**Received at 12:18 PM**

****dont text me back

**From John**

**Received at 12:18 PM**

****just come to my place, my window is around back

An address was attached and Alex was about to type back when he remembered what John had told him. Concern bubbled in his chest and he quickly checked his wallet. He should have enough for a cab if it was far…

A quick check on Google Maps told him it was roughly a 30 minute walk. Yeah, fuck that. Alex hurried on down to the sidewalk. It took a minute to wave down a cab, but he was soon on his way to John’s house. The neighborhood that the cab pulled into was nicer than Alex expected, it wasn’t like the one Alex lived in with his mom and dad, but it was definitely middle class. Paying the driver and hopping out, Alex referenced his phone and saw the house. It didn’t seem like anyone was home..but, still being cautious, Alex crept around to the backyard. Scanning the windows, he spotted John lingering one on the second floor.

“John!” he called, but kept his voice kinda low. It seemed to be enough as John looked down and quickly opened the window. His worry immediately skyrocketed as he saw the state that John was in. From where he stood, he could see that John had a black eye and his nose was bleeding. There was more bruising on his face.

“Hold on, I’m coming down!” John called back quietly. Alex was about to ask what he was doing, but before he could, John was climbing out his window.

“John, what the hell are you-” Alex didn’t have time to ask as John carefully kicked his leg over to the drain pipe. He shimmied his way down before dropping. The whole time, Alex was just staring in bewilderment. How had he never thought of trying that when he needed to? Shaking his head, he ignored the memories, hurrying over to him.

“What the hell happened??” Alex asked, taking John’s face in his hands without thinking about it. He could see the damage more clearly. John’s eye was swollen shut, his nose wasn’t bleeding still, but it was still bloody. His cheek bone was dark, another on the other half of his face was a healing bruise, not nearly as fresh as these.

“My dad..and step mom..Its- Ugh, its fine..He leftand she’s passed out on the couch” John said, glancing away and gently brushing Alex’s hands away. Alex’s brows just furrowed deeper.

“John, what- I- Shit, lets go” Alex couldn’t form a proper sentence for once in his life. If his dad was gone, Alex didn’t wanna be around when he got back. John didn’t argue. They walked from the house and out of the neighborhood. For some time, the both of them were silent. The walk was good for Alex. His head was clearer, feeling confident enough to try and talk to John about this situation.

“John...How often does this happen..?” Alexander asked carefully. He didn’t want to push too much, but at the same time, he didn’t know the extent of the abuse...He didn’t know what would scare John off or what was safe to talk about. John looked to him for a moment before shrugging his hands into his pockets.

“Every day? Not always this bad, but..Yeah” John trailed off, keeping his eyes forward. “Usually I’m just locked in my room until I get caught sneaking out” he admitted. Alex’s frown deepened.

“What happens then…?” he asked, John chuckled weakly, not looking at the older man.

“This, sometimes worse...It depends how drunk he is or how high she is..” John explained. It made Alex’s stomach churn sickly. John already looked like shit, how could it be worse.

_Well..._ Alex shook those thoughts away quickly. He knew exactly how worse it could be..

“Fuck, man...Does anyone know about this? Have you talked to anyone? Teachers? Police? Anything?” If John was anything like Alex was when he was in places like that...probably not. Adults weren’t safe to talk to, or you think that at least if you get one person who wont listen…

“No. Some friends know, but that’s about it. What good would one of my shitty teachers be unless to just call my fucking parents and make it worse?” John snapped and then deflated “Sorry..I don’t know why I...ugh” John shook his head.

“Its okay, I understand..are you hungry?” He said, noticing how John looked a little thinner than the last time they saw each other.

“Starving...step mom locked the pantry again, so I haven't eaten as much since summer break started. I can try and pay you back if you want” John offered, Alex shaking his head quickly.

“No, no there's no need to. I can pay for us...C’mon, its hot out, we’ll get a heatstroke from being out here” Alex said, smiling some at John. They were both wearing jackets out in 80 degree weather, which made his mind wander to bad ideas. No, he needed to stop spiraling like that, worrying himself wouldn’t help John.

* * *

The walk to McDonald’s took longer than Alexander had expected, but the air conditioned building made it worth it. He got the door for John and sighed with relief once the cold air washed over him. He really needed to invest in thinner long sleeved shirts instead of walking around in a short sleeved with a jacket. Just another thing to add to his never ending to-do list.

“Here” Alex got John’s attention, pulling his wallet out and handing it to the teen. “I gotta run to the bathroom real quick. Get whatever you want” he said and then paused.

“I’m serious. Get whatever you want, eat till you’re full, alright?” Alex said seriously. John nodded slowly hesitantly taking it. He didn’t wanna say no, obviously. Alex nodded as well and smiled some.

“It’s fine, I promise. I’ll be back in a second” he said, heading off to the bathroom to take his binder off. His chest was aching, protesting the garment being worn again. Great. Alex wasn’t stupid. As much as he wanted to just force himself to wear it, he didn’t want to hurt himself. If they sat in a corner and didn’t speak to anyone, he wouldn’t have to worry about people mistaking what he was.

Once the offending piece of clothing was off and his shirt was back on, he got his jacket on as well and went to find John waiting for his food. He went over to him and smiled a bit. He felt a little embarrassed at the thought of John seeing the slight shifting under his shirt. If he kept worrying himself about it, then John would definitely notice something was wrong and start scanning him for whatever was causing the anxiety on his face.

“Sorry, you get what you want?” Alex asked. John nodded, handing Alex his wallet back. He pocketed it, deciding he could order some coffee and fries once John got his food. He didn’t have time to ask him what all he got when a number was called, John going to grab a tray with three small burgers on it. That was more than he expected John to get. That was good.

“Cool, lets grab a seat in the corner” Alex suggested. Some people were giving John looks, so he wanted to sit somewhere where it’d be harder to see them. John didn’t argue, just following behind Alex. They sat down in a corner booth, silence falling over them as John ate. Finally, as John finished his second burger, Alex decided to speak up.

“You need to talk to someone about whats happening at home. Call CPS, something...You can’t live in that place...” Alex started gently. John stopped as he was about to start on his last burger. Slowly sitting it down.

“Why do you care? I mean..I get we’re soulmates or whatever, but what I have going on at home is none of your business..I’m turning 18 in October, so I’ll just leave then. It’s fine, so just stop talking about it...” John muttered, refusing to look at Alex. The older man’s face dropped. That’s what he was worried about.

“What about your siblings? You said you have a few, right? What about them? Are you just gonna leave and let them keep getting hurt. If you’re taking the abuse so they don't, your dad and stepmom are just gonna turn on them once you're gone…” Alex insisted, having seen it before for himself. John scoffed, turning a glare onto Alex.

“What do you know?” John spat, anger so familiar to Alex. Alex could remember all the emotions that he couldn’t process, just turning them all into unbridled anger and aggression. He still rerouted a lot of things to anger, but he was trying to get better at it.

“I know more than you think, John” Alex said, unable to continue as John stopped him.

“No, you don’t know shit. You’re doing what everyone else does. They say shit like ‘I get what you're going through’ or ‘I know how you must be feeling’ like they get the shit beat outta them all the time when they actually have parents that love them” John growled defensively. Alex felt his heart drop and his skin started to crawl and itch. He wanted to be sarcastic, snap at John and say how the teen didn’t know shit. That was his fear talking, but he couldn’t let himself do that to John.

“I really didn't wanna show you this shit...but, I guess I gotta for you to understand..” Alex sighed, carefully pulling his jacket off and laying his arms on the table. His scars were out on display. Years of torment and abuse told in the white lines and marks on his tanned skin. John was almost in awe. Alex could follow John’s eyes as they traveled up and went to Alex’s face once he couldn’t see the scars anymore.

“I-” John started and Alex shook his head, pulling his jacket again.

“It’s okay” Alex said calmly, not angry with him. John just nodded weakly. They sat in silence again until John started to speak quietly.

“How..when did all that happen..?” he asked and Alex paused. He sighed and leaned back in the booth.

“I think I went into the foster system when I was 11 or 12..so...around then. Case workers missed some signs and us kids paid for it. Its better now, I’ve heard. Its still shitty and bad parents slip through the cracks unnoticed, but its not as bad as it used to be. One kid in my third house died from the flu because the parents wouldn’t take them to the doctor. They didn’t get caught until the caseworker caught the guy about to hit one of us..My mom and dad adopted me when I was 15, best house I ever went into. They still foster kids too.” Alex explained, hoping to put ideas in John’s head. If the kids got taken from that home, he was sure his mom could call the worker until they could foster them. His mother was a stubborn woman.

“Huh..I’m..uh...I’m glad you got a good home to live in finally. What happened to your birth parents?” John asked. Alex could tell he was trying to get away from the topic, so he let it go.

“My dad ran off when I was little, so I don’t really remember him. My mom and I got really sick when I was 10 or so..she just, didn’t get better. Lived with a cousin for a bit, but... that didn’t work out either.” He said, not very emotional about it. Alex loved his birth mom, of course, but...after so long, his time with her just didn’t feel real anymore. His mom, Martha, was his mom now and that's all he thought about with that word.

* * *

The two of them talked about this and that for the next part of an hour before John decided he should hurry on home. Alex didn’t want the teen getting in more trouble than he had already gotten in, so he agreed and offered to walk him back home.

“Its alright. I’ll text you later, Alex, I promise” John said as he finished his soda and got up.

“If you’re sure, just be safe, alright?” Alex said, sipping on his coffee. He didn’t really like fast food coffee’s, but it was decent enough to drink. John hummed in agreement, walking outside with Alex. He paused for a moment to say something. For a minute, John just stood there, looking conflicted.

“I’ll..I’ll think about what you said..” John finally said. Alex nodded slowly, gently touching John’s shoulder.

“Text me if you need anything, alright?” He said, the teen nodding.

The two parted ways after that. Alex could have gotten another cab, but needed the walk and fresh air. He knew that John was in a bad situation, but nothing confirmed it until John had said it. He could just feel the dread getting worse and worse. One phone call to his mom accompanied him all the way home. When he finally got home, a panic attack had been staved off. Alex had thanked his mom on the way up to his apartment, unlocking the door and hanging up the phone

He kept the details slim to none when he told Peggy about hanging out with John. It wasn’t his place to tell everyone that didn’t need to know about John’s situation. After he managed to bore her interest, Alex went off to his room.

For once, he needed a nap.

* * *

Eyes snapped open as a consistent buzzing filled the room. It was dark outside as Alex sat up and grabbed his phone with bleary eyes. Oh..texts from John…

“Fuck” John was texting him. This could be really serious. Alex quickly opened the messages and scanned them.

**From John**

**Sent at 8:15 PM**

****Hey I got home okay, I loitered around for a bit, sorry if I worried you

**From John**

**Sent at 8:20 PM**

****My dad was too wasted to even hear my brother letting me inside. I’m gonna go lay down, have a good night Alexander

**From John**

**Sent at 8:38 PM**

****I hear this really weird noise coming from Martha’s room. I don’t like it, something feels really wrong..I’m gonna go see whats up. He didn’t lock my door back when I got home.

**From John**

**Sent at 8:50 PM**

****call the fucking police before i kill him

**From John**

**Sent at 8:51 PM**

i caught him in martha’s bed


	2. Chapter 2

Alexander's heart was pounding in his chest as he sat up and dialled 911. What was he even supposed to say? Fuck it. He'd cross that bridge when the ringing stopped. Pulling his shoes on, Alexander perked up when the operator picked up. He was heading out of his bedroom as he went for the front door.

"I need an officer at my soulmates home. 4457 Lowen street. It's a cul-de-sac…." Alex was too panicked to even stop to tell Peggy what the hell was happening as he was out the door.

He was talking to the operator as he got a cab, explaining the situation and what had been happening in the home prior. Or...just everything he knew from John. Halfway to the address, he was informed that officers were on the scene and the operator asked if he wanted her to stay on the line until he got there.

"No..no, I'll be fine. Thank you" Alex thanked her before hanging up the phone. His leg still bounced nervously until the cab stopped at the house with flashing blue lights outside. He paid the driver and got out, hurrying over and being stopped by an officer. He had to suppress his snarky attitude.

"Sir, I'm the one that called, I need to check on my soulmate. He's the oldest kid here. Please, I'm scared his dad hurt him again" playing his cards right usually worked and it was true for this as well. The officer didn't wait too long before letting Alexander go to the porch.

Alex went from concerned to angry in a matter of seconds as he came upon John sitting on a porch swing. His hands were cuffed behind his back. Alexander was by his side immediately.

"Are you okay John?? What the hell happened why did they-" He likely would have kept talking, but John bumped their hands together. He looked like he got in another fight, but he didn't look worse than earlier.

"Calm down..they did this to let me calm down.. tried jumping the old fuck again when they had him cuffed. I'm fine right now.. they'll let me go when they take him and my stepmom to the station or whatever." John explained, sounding too calm for Alex's liking. Shock, probably…

"Is your sister okay…?" Alex asked quietly and John scoffed, but didn't sound annoyed.

"No... they're sending an ambulance for her.." John murmured, looking at the two cars that pulled away, just leaving the one. The officer that stopped Alexander came over now to let John free of the handcuffs. There was no exchange of words. What could they really say, after all? 

John relaxed more as he rubbed his wrists. The two soulmates sat in silence for awhile until the ambulance came and went. John wanted to go with them, but Alex told him that they wouldn't let the teen stay the night with her. He wasn't 18 yet and hospitals were strict about that kinda stuff. After some more silence, Alexander finally spoke up.

"Do you..wanna talk about it..? It helps sometimes.." He said softly. It was up to John if he wanted to talk, Alex was just offering to listen. Another minute passed with nothing being said. The older man assumed John didn't want to talk, which was fine.

"I just..I don't know how I missed it.." John whispered suddenly, catching Alex's attention. He didn't comment, just letting John talk.

"Martha never acted like anything was wrong- I thought...I thought if he knocked me around, he'd leave the rest of them alone-" John gripped at his hair, making Alex step in to gently touch John's arm.

"Stop..this isn't your fault" Alex said quietly, John glancing at him from the curtain of hair separating them. “I know it's hard, but if you want to blame anyone, blame the person that did it to her..” 

John frowned and looked away. His shoulders started to shake and Alex knew he was crying. The older man scooted over to offer a hug. John, to his surprise, latched onto him immediately. Alex had tensed a bit, but relaxed quickly as he held John. He stroked the teen’s hair as he let him cry. 

They sat like this for awhile until a voice spoke near them. Alex looked over, holding John protectively. A woman with a tired but kind smile greeted him.

“Hi..which one of you is John…?” she asked, making John look up with teary and red eyes. He sat up and rubbed his eyes roughly.

“That's me..” he muttered, noticing his two younger siblings were being escorted from the house. He stood up, getting defensive.

“What's going on? Where are they going” he said, getting upset. The woman tried to calm him, keeping her posture non threatening. 

“You and your siblings are going to a group home tonight until we find somewhere for you all” She said and Alex moved to calm him.

“It's okay, John. It’ll be okay..My parents are foster parents...I’ll..I’ll call them and see if they can take you all in. It’s just one night. You’ll still have your phone..” Alex comforted his soulmate. The last thing anyone needed was John flipping out and having to be made to leave with the woman. He looked at her and got his phone out.

“Can I have your name and number, miss? I’m the son of George and Martha Washington. I know they have room for four more kids, if you could please either contact them or let me give them your number to contact you. John is my soulmate and I only want the safest place for him and his family.” Alexander spoke calmly and firmly. He could tell this worker was exhausted and probably just as overworked as others he had been around growing up. 

“My name is Ashley Townes.” she said and relayed her number to Alex, who typed it into his contacts. 

”I was already considering placing them with Mr and Mrs Washington, but given these..” she looked between them “Circumstances, I’ll give them a call in the morning. We should be going now, so I have time to get my paperwork together”

Alex could feel John tense up. He knew the boy was scared because he was scared like this too...He knew the fears of going somewhere he didn’t know..the anger of having no control…

“It’ll be okay..I’ll stay up all night talking to you if that’s what you need..but, you need to go with them for right now. If anything, so your siblings won't be alone…” Alex murmured to him, taking John’s hand and giving it a squeeze. John nodded slowly, looking at Alex with a gaze of helplessness…

“Okay..” he murmured and let go of Alex’s hand. John walked forward and was escorted to a car by Ashley. Alex watched until John and the car were out of sight. His heart hurt at the idea of John being scared and alone, but he knew it would be okay. Stepping off the porch, his finger tapped a familiar name in his contacts. It just started to rain as he put the phone to his ear..

“Hey mom..” Alex’s voice cracked a little “Can you or dad come pick me up…? I wanna come home for the night..” he whispered.

_ It would all be okay. _


End file.
